did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
