Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
