My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
