So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
