Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
