Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
