Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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