i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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