i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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