he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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