that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
