Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
