You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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