I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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