We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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