I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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