By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
