A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
