hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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