He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
