I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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