Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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