Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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