so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
