GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
