Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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