it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
