Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
