Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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