I'm going to rape someone's good day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
