Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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