He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
