Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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