That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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