I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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