where am i from again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
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You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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