It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
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