All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
