She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she peed on how many people?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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