My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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