so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize