I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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