the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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