just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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