a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
