but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You are a genius and a whore.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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