i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
