He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
