just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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