do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
