just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize