we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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