Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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