DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
