As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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