I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
