i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
