I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were destined to go to rehab together
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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