Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you traded sex for a burrito?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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