I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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