So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
