i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
